If you know me in real life then you know I can be somewhat of a coward. Not a whole lot of things in life scare me to the point of crying, but I think clowns are the number one fear. I’ve never liked clowns. They scare the crap out of me. It started when I was a child and my parents thought it would be a great idea to watch Stephen King’s “IT.” The clown in there still spooks me something fierce. The second encounter with a clown was the movie “Poltergeist.” The scene when the clown toy comes alive and wraps it’s stretchy arms around the bed, pinning the helpless little boy down pops into my head whenever I spend the night at a relatives house and they have stuffed animals in a chair facing the bed. I mean, come on people…why would you do that?!?

Other things that scare me would be “anything sharp near my eye/ear.” This fear was also created during my childhood. The story goes as thusly; My mom was giving me a hair cut. I was sitting in the kitchen chair in front of the TV. On the TV was a old monster movie where some sailors were fighting off a giant praying mantis. The sailors were throwing harpoons into the mantis’ eyes right as my mom was cutting my bangs. I could see the scissors out of my peripheral vision. I got squirmy and scared and she changed the channel once I told her she was going to stab me in the eye. The ear phobia came right after. My mom changed the channel to “Wrath of Khan.” As you would imagine as she was cutting near my ear, Khan was putting the nasty worms into Chekov’s ear. I slept with my ears covered for at least a month after that.

I have lots of other fears too. Fear of commitment, fear of rejection fear of pretty girls.

But, lets face it, most men have those anyways.