As most stereotypical nerds, I sometimes have to wear glasses to read. I have the worst history with glasses. I can buy a pair of cheap reading glasses at Walmart or a drug store and they will keep forever. If I were to get a nice, expensive pair from a Spectacle Smith, I’d break them into thousands of pieces.

The current glasses I am wearing have several issues. The nose peice is missing off the left side, so they sit crooked on my face. I stepped on them before and the lens has popped out. If it falls out, I can put it back in. It would be nice to have glasses that didn’t have unintentional removable lenses. These aren’t as bad, but I’ve had some glasses that have actually stained my skin and left marks.

I share a similar history with sunglasses. Most pair I’ve had have been nice ones, and they have all been destroyed one way or another. About a year ago, I purchased some rad aviator sunglasses. They were totally expensive and I live in daily fear that they will break, get scratched, or be stolen. So far, so good on these but there will come a day that something horrible happens to those aviators.

And on that day you will look to the horizon, place a hand over your hear, and listen to the primal scream of profanity as I verbally express what has just happened.